What would you see if you take a look in someones mind...?


[...]
I'm somehow afraid of accepting it too much, so I might lose control over the suppression of some things. And I need control.
And that's also my fear about psychic therapies. Problems growing stronger, instead of disappearing. Therapists, saying I have to accept, cause it's a not mentally treatable thing.
Well, this pressure has effects to my entire live. I'm a utterly workaholic, always short before the burnout syndrom. I keep a big distance to other people, both physically and even more mentally. I fill every free minute with an activity, I can't relax, can't sleep. I avoid to have time to think and thereby sink again in a mental marsh of paradoxa.

That seems to be the thing which is my truth. Being obstinate, staying in the gray zone. I face it. I hope I'll always stay the master over it. That's all. I'm afraid of a black or white. Cause I don't like either of them. But I'm also curious about which of my traits are "me", and which are just an implication of this pressure. And I'm curious about how long it will take to my first heart attack [...]


"Reality is just an Illusion. If you don't believe me, proof me the opposite."

Somehow I like the internet. I can spread thoughts and keep distance in one. And be aware of the author, having no idea of english grammar